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Summer to Fall and Back Again

12 Nov

As soon as I packed away all of my summer clothes for the year, Shane and I decided to move to South Florida…In November.  As a native Wisconsinite, I knew there would have to be a BIG change in my fall/winter wardrobe.   I silently wept as I gave my sisters many of my fur-lined boots, wool jackets, and cozy sweaters.  Their halfhearted attempts to comfort me through stifled screeches of joy didn’t help the matter. I resigned myself to feigning generosity and swiftly turned my focus to creating a happy marriage between typical fall fashion and 80 degree weather.

Same shirt, new season

Oh what a world has opened.  Down here, it’s more about texture and fabric than sleeve length.  More heel height than type, and skin protection over my mid-winter self-tanning binges.  Its actually been quite fun to look at my clothing in a whole new light and to create a fall-themed, warm weather look.

This can be useful to think about when vacationing on warmer shores during the winter, or simply a new way to change up your fall look!

white tank dress

Silky blouses usually worn under heavy blazers or leather jackets can now be worn simply by themselves with a dark skinny jean and some sky high pumps.  Thin sweaters can be tucked into silky dress shorts paired with chunky wedges and a dainty belt.  What I’ve learned is that its not about buying a completely new closet full of tank tops, skirts, and sandals, but more about pairing the old with the new to create a light, fresh look.

fall & summer

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Funky Fall Trends

24 Sep

This fall season, the runways are filled with color and texture.  Thanks to stars like Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj, the chunky highlights of the 90s and neons of the 80s suddenly look boring, and fashion forward means shaving half your head.  Needless to say, fashion is becoming more and more daring each year.  Here are some ways to try out the newest trends:

Oversized Accessories

In runway talk, this means hats that cover your eyes, shoulder pads that reach your forehead and bow headbands the size of your entire face.  It can be difficult to see the wearable trends through the haute couture madness.  So please, let me help!  To embrace the big bow trend, grab a silky blouse with an oversized but droopy silk bow tie.  Definitely a statement piece, yet one everyone can pull off.  Here are a few more ways to go bow crazy:

Bow crazy

Animal Accessories

I am not a fan of animal accessories.  You may be and that’s fine.  Just try to stay away from the glittery cats okay? Its creepy.  It should be easy to see which accessories are in vogue compared to those that look like you stole a small childs toy.

HOOT HOOT

Crazy Eye Makeup

I am all for going crazy with eye makeup.  Be bold! The trick with this look is blending.  Without blending, dark colors will make you look like you got punched in the eye and bright colors will make you look like a trashy fairy.  Put the lightest color or a nude all the way from your lash line to your eyebrow.  Then sweep the darkest or boldest color across your lid without going above the crease.  Then use an in between color to blend the two together and finish with liner.  Also, liquid eyeliner can be an easy way to get funky with your makeup without adding crazy colors.  Pairing these with equally wild lip color is a daring way to make an entrance.

eyes and lips

Bejeweled Nail Art

This season, nail art has taken a huge jump into the spotlight.  It’s all about texture..from mini pearls to glitter, to colored French tips.  Be brave with this trend! The bolder the better!

 Nail Art

So go out and try the newest trends! Get wild! Who cares if you look back and think “What was I thinking?!” That’s half the fun!

Making Sweaty Sexy.

15 Jul

While I sit here dripping sweat onto my keyboard (you’re welcome for the visual), I began to think about how these hot summer days can really cramp your style.  Let’s be serious, when I’m sweaty and hot, it’s not in the sexy glistening way that J.Lo’s pool-side shoots and Victoria’s Secret catalogs describe. It’s more like a crack whore going through withdrawal, or a pregnant lady with a bad case of the trots. Basically, it’s not cute.  So in light of these lovely seasonal developments, I put together some tips for all of you out there on a budget and living without air conditioning…so probably just myself.

Making sweaty sexy.

RUN, don’t walk to put on deodorant.  You have about .3 seconds from when you leave that shower to when you start sweating. Get those pits blocked.

Makeup. Putting on make up in these conditions is like trying to put on make up in the shower. It’s impossible.  The best tip I can give you, is to wash your face with freezing cold water, dry thoroughly, apply your make up in front of a fan, and move quickly.  Be sure to apply some translucent powder to take away any shine and pack that puppy in your purse for later. This is no joke. The last step? Run over to your freezer, open it up and stick your face in it. Don’t laugh…I didn’t even make this one up.  Apparently the cold air sets your make up quickly and helps you to avoid streaking…lovely.

Swass. AKA swamp ass. There is no good way to avoid swass. These are the days to bust out the flowy, short skirts that allow some sort of…ahem…air circulation. Then, pray for a gust of heavenly wind to relieve your nether regions. Pair with a shirt in a color that is hot-day friendly.

Hair. To avoid the halo of sweat around your hairline that is oh-so common yet oh-so unattractive, toss some dry shampoo or even baby powder in your hair right before you leave.  While it’s not going to prevent you from sweating, it will absorb some of the oils in your hair so you aren’t left looking greasy.

So, here is your scenario: You are asked out on a date where you will be attending an outdoor baseball game, followed by drinks/dinner (if he’s worth it).  During the game, no one will notice how drenched you are because everyone is in the same boat. But if you leave that place limping from the swass-induced inner-thigh chafe, rockin pit stains down to your waist, mascara tears on your chin, and a greasy hairline, there will be no second date. With creative styling and some preemptive oil absorption, we can end the night looking like jlo instead of the crack whore. Which girl do you want to be?

ANSWER: 

Color Block.

19 Jun

Okay people, we are going back to elementary school for a minute here. Remember the color wheel? Well it turns out that something you learned in school may actually be helpful in life! Yippee. Now, since I’m sure you have forgotten, here is a standard color wheel:

(courtesy of a photoshop website that will tell you way more than you want to know about the wheel..find it here: www.northlite.net )

Now, reach back to your days in grade school art class. Can you smell the weird chalky paint? Can you see the Picasso-esque attempts at self-portraits? As soon as you find yourself fantasizing over what shape your mother’s annual clay ornament should be, you are in the right state of mind.  Now don’t get all nervous.  All you need to remember from the depths of your artistic soul are Primary, Secondary and Tertiary colors. What’s that? You forgot? Well I guess I will have to share my vast knowledge with you.

Primary colors are Red, Yellow and Blue. Secondary colors are Violet, Green, and Orange. And Tertiary colors are a whole mess of Primary and Secondary colors. Next up: how to apply this newly acquired knowledge to color blocking. As a side note, I’m not sure if it is “color block”, “color-block” or “colorblock” and frankly I don’t much care. Just go with it.

For the bold color blocker, go for colors that are across from each other on the wheel.  Just lay out a bunch of your clothes and start mixing and matching until something catches your eye. Confidence is huge with this look so be sure to feel good in what you put on!  Below you can see how to use this look to create outfits with your favorite colored jeans!

COLOR BLOCK.

For a more subdued look, mix and match colors that are one away from each other on the wheel. Be careful or this can end up looking like a failed monochromatic look so be sure to choose colors that are different enough from one another.  The green and yellow combo as well as the red and purple combo above are great examples of how to do this.

For the most conservative attempt at color blocking pair a bright colored top with your nudes, whites, or blacks.  Take advantage of all the bright shorts out there right now and toss on a black or white tank for an effortless summer look.  And remember! Black and white outfits are color-blocking too! So go wild ladies. Color blocking is fun! Ps…lots of clothing is sold already color blocked for you so go ahead and cheat!

Easy colorblocking
HAPPY COLOR BLOCKING!

NEON

6 Jun
NEON
Hello lovers. Now that you know what type of jeans to wear/avoid, let’s get craaazy. By now I hope most of you have at least attempted the neon jean trend. It may seem daunting. But hidden in the rainbow sea of stretchy denim is the potential to take a risk and stand out. Quick rules of thumb.  If you are buying a more expensive pair of neon jeans with a thicker fabric, feel free to choose your favorite color. If you are with the majority of girls who will be frequenting the local forever 21 for a thinner stretchier pair…be careful with yellow and orange! In tight, thin fabrics, these colors don’t hide anything. And slapping a fun color on a butt dimple doesn’t make it any more appealing.  So stick with the reds, blues, purples, and dark greens to be safe.  Now for the fun part. Pairing them with outfits! :)
Most people I know who have purchased this trend get it home to their closet and think..now what? The easy answer? Keep it basic.  Solid tanks and tees in white and black are easy choices. Dressed up and casual looks are easily attainable by pairing with flowy blouses and tucked in tight tanks respectively.  For the more daring look, pair with a patterned top in similar colors or even attempt to colorblock using two different solid colors…but I am working on a whooole post for that. In the meantime, work on perfecting your neon jean outfits!
Neon Pairs

Denim Illusions.

4 Jun

Before we dive into how to buy a well-fitting pair of jeans, we must identify your body type:

Okay. In general there are 4 body types. Clearly not everyone will fit perfectly into one of the following fruit-named categories, but bear with me and try to choose one. We’re a society of labelers and I have no intention of changing that here today. Read on.

1.  Pear: baby got back. I get it. In high school and college you had a nice ass. But now you’re 30 and its falling. And all the lunges you do wont keep that booty from pulling your pants down and revealing your lovely crack to the world.  The up side to a big ass is that your body type usually has a tiny little waist. Ah, the dream.  You tend to gain weight in the hips and thighs and you struggle to keep the dreaded “saddle bag” at bay, but your waist stays the same. The best cut for you is actually a higher waisted pants to accentuate your small waist.  Basically the idea here is to make a push up bra for your tush. Lift and separate ladies. Don’t go too tight, and never buy a straight, wide leg or your entire body will appear as wide as your bottom.

2.  Ruler: holler atcha girl. We must unite and create body parts we don’t have. We are missing our asses completely. It doesn’t matter how much weight you lose, give it up- your shadow will never look like Barbie. I hear ya and I’m with ya. The big thing for women who are trying to create curves is pocket placement.  Getting larger pockets that sit a bit lower will actually give the illusion that you have a bigger donk.  The wider apart the pockets are, the wider your bum looks. Try pockets that are slanted inward which enhances curves as it draws your eyes up and out. Just please take the time to buy a good pair of jeans.  If you already  have no bum, putting a saggy pair of jeans on that make people wonder if you took a dump earlier will not help.  Look around for a good pair and focus on the pockets.

3.  Apple: You my friend, may think that jeans are impossible. The lovely thing about apples are that this body type generally has thin legs.  Highlight your legs by buying a straight and lean cut jean.  Go for a bit of a higher waist to control the dreaded muffin top, and don’t be afraid to get a pair of jeans with a little stretch to ‘em!

4. Hourglass: you don’t get a tutorial because frankly you can buy any gosh darn pair of jeans you put on. So walk on, Giselle. I don’t wanna hear it.

Jean pocket placement is EVERYTHING when it comes to buying a good pair of jeans. Let’s be serious. In jean shopping your butt can make or break a purchase. No matter how perky, saggy, wide, inverted, non-existent your arse may be, buying the right pair of jeans can make all the difference.  So throw out your nastified flares, pipes and stretched-out jeggings of the past and commit to creating the illusion of a perfect bum.

When you look at a pair of jeans, start with the “yoke”.  Yes, the seam above your back pockets actually has a name. The rule to remember here is that a more angled yoke makes for a curvier looking tush. The straighter the lines, the more discrete your bum will look. So, those of you with big booties—I’m looking at you Pears—look for a straighter yoke and a straighter pocket design like a welt pocket commonly found on trouser style jeans. Rulers: angle angle angle. We need to create an illusion that there is in fact, a butt here.

Step two…actual design on the pockets. I will tell you right now that fading, rhinestones, flowers, etc on your backside basically make me want to vomit and throw away your bedazzler.  But if that’s your thing, sparkle on. In my opinion, stay far away from fading..it doesn’t help anyone because 9 times out of 10 it accentuates your flaws. Especially if placed on the wrong butt…like mine in 6th grade…when I wore disgusting faded, pocketless jeans to make sure everyone at the dance knew I was wearing my first thong. Who in their right mind would hide behind pockets? Ugh. Horrifying.

One embellishment that I do support, is a flap pocket for those of you with small butts. The flap or any other design that you can stomach will draw the eye and create the illusion of volume.

Apples and Rulers! To get the ideal hourglass shape, go for an angled pocket. Pockets that are angled at the top draw the eye up and out which tricks the eye (or his eye) into thinking we have perfect bums. Muahaha.

Now, the size of the pocket. Just remember. The bigger the bum, the bigger the pocket.  Just use common sense. Please don’t go buying a pocket that goes halfway down your leg and makes you look like a man. And small booty ladies, don’t get one that is so small it looks like it’s sinking into quicksand. Mkay?  Moderation. Boost a small bottom with lower set pockets..but only if you have long legs. Otherwise the pocket will be overwhelming and your legs will actually look shorter. Pockets that are too high set however, begin to get into mom-jean territory so watch yourself there.  It’s a balancing game. So try on 200 pair and you’ll get the hang of it after a while.

Color. Everyone knows, darker washes make you look slimmer. So go for a darker wash (no fading no fading no fading).

 

Big points:

Angled pockets add volume and perkiness

Darker washes make you look thinner

Lower pockets only if you have long long legs and a perky booty!

No cuffs for shorties

Pocket Flaps for those of us with no bums

Pay attention to the yoke

Welt pockets look good on everyone!

If you must buy pocketless jeans, be sure they have an angled yoke. Straight yoke+no pockets=sagfest.

Fading, tears, embellishments make me nauseous.

Jeans

High Waisting.

22 May

The Look

Sure we all want to be able to pull off the awesome, retro-looking high waisted shorts trend.  The fact of the matter is, we must pick and choose our trends carefully.  Everyone can try this trend, but the same “high waisted” shorts will not look good on all body types. 
Those of you with big ta-tas or a shorter torso will not benefit from a super high waisted short. You’ll end up looking like your boobs are sitting on your hips…no thank you. Instead try a short that reaches just above your hip bone. Not above your belly button. You get the benefits of the trend (can you say natural tummy concealer?) without taking away precious inches from your torso.  Also buying a more tailored style of shorts that have a vertical seam, pleat or fold will make your legs look longer.
They also provide the opportunity for those who shy away from crop tops to try them.  The tummy issue is no more, so pair your high waisted shorts with a crop top for a casual look. 

Fancy Pants

For a more dressed up look, tuck in a flouncy button down instead of a tank or tee.  There are also tons of fancier styles of high waisted shorts. Go for silky flowy fabrics that resemble a skirt.  There are also plenty of lacy shorts that are super fun.  Pair with a blazer and heels or fancy ballet flats for a night out!

WARNING

BE CAREFUL. Please please do not buy your high waisted shorts too small.  Lets just say with this design, little is left to the imagination…IN FRONT OR BACK. Go a bit looser please. Thanks. Go out and wear them proud ladies. Confidence is everything with this look.

Lacy